“I’m poorer than my parents, now what?”

For this week’s top story, we’re looking at the generation wealth gap and how families can talk about it.

By Wing Sze Tang

There’s an age-old proverb: “It’s better to be born lucky than rich.” But of course, one can lead to the other: If you grew up in a fortuitous era, those advantages can help make you richer.

Take baby boomers (born between 1946 and 1965): Their net worth accounts for 37.3% of Canada’s total wealth, according to recent data from Statistics Canada. Gen Xers (born between 1966 and 1980) are the second most affluent.  

Both generations built their net worth the old-school but highly effective way: investing in homeownership, which used to be much more affordable than it is now. In Toronto, for example, the average price of homes sold in 1980 was just $75,694, according to the Toronto Regional Real Estate Board.

Millennials (born between 1981 and 1996) haven’t been as lucky. Despite now making up the largest generation in Canada, they collectively hold only 22.8% of the nation’s wealth. And with the eye-popping sticker shock of homes—selling for more than $1 million, on average, in Toronto—no wonder many of them feel priced out. Factor in stagnant wages and ever-rising inflation, and it seems harder to get ahead.

If you feel poorer than your parents, welcome to the club. Since booting up a time machine to buy a house or cheap Bitcoin isn’t an option, here are some realistic expert insights for dealing with money matters, including how to talk with family about this tricky topic, how to plan ahead for goals, and what to know about wealth transfers.

Start the money conversation with your parents, even if it’s uncomfortable

Maybe Mom or Dad is pestering you about when you’ll finally buy a house. Maybe you want to ask for their financial help but don’t know how. Talking frankly about money is often awkward, especially when you add in parent-child relationship dynamics. 

For your first conversation, focus on the emotional side of things, recommends Parween Mander, a Vancouver-based accredited financial counselor and the millennial money coach behind The Wealthy Wolfe. You could begin with “Hey, I’ve been really anxious about my money lately, and I feel like I can’t talk to anybody about it. I would love to be able to have your support. Here’s what I’ve been feeling and dealing with,” she advises. “Lead with that vulnerability.” If you have a specific financial ask, leave that for a separate conversation.

Seeking help from your parents doesn’t mean giving up a sense of agency and independence, Mander says. You can ask for support while still doing your own work, like getting a budget in place or enlisting a financial advisor for guidance.

Make the decisions that matter, instead of dwelling on factors you can’t control

There’s no use in being nostalgic about 1980s house prices—it’s 2026, says Kurt Rosentreter, a Toronto-based senior financial advisor at Manulife Wealth whose services include financial planning for millennials. “Stop making excuses that it’s tougher now.” 

It’s not about being harsh, but realistic. Rosentreter advises focusing on the variables you can control: namely, your career choice (which influences your income potential), your goals and how you spend the money you make. And there’s no good or bad when it comes to your income level. “It’s just about adjusting your expectations based on what you make,” says Rosentreter. As the simplest example: If your heart’s set on owning a house, but big-city pricing puts home ownership out of reach for your income potential, your options include considering other locations where homes are more affordable.

Enlist experts, even if you feel like you don’t have a lot of money

“Some of the biggest decisions of your entire life are happening typically between the ages of 28 and 38, when you may not have a lot of money but you need a lot of answers,” says Rosentreter. In scenarios like this, he recommends advice-only planners, who charge an hourly rate to give solid, independent financial advice that’s not tied to products or your income.

If you’re looking for more emotional support, tailored to your familial or cultural circumstances, you can also consider seeing an accredited or certified financial counsellor. “This avenue can boost your confidence while still giving you that strategic support with budgeting,” says Mander.

Aim to set your goals in your 30s and sort out a plan by 40

If you’re in your 20s now, even reading articles like this one is a good step. It means money is on your mind. Educate yourself on the fundamentals—how to budget and pay off debts such as student loans—and start thinking about your goals: where you want to live, your career path and so on. 

For those in their 30s, it’s not too late. For Rosentreter, millennial clients tend to fall into two camps: 

1. The keeners who feel they’re facing an uphill battle and embrace financial planning and investing to make up for this. 
2. Those who have no financial goals written down, instead living month by month and carrying debt longer than they should.

If you’re in the latter group, Rosentreter has a timeline for getting serious: Set your life goals in your 30s and start working toward them; put a concrete financial plan in place by 40. 

“I will give you your 30s to sort out your decisions: your career, your marriage if you have one, how many kids you’re going to have, if you’re going to buy a house. Get started in the direction you hope you will go for the rest of your life,” Rosentreter explains. “But by 40 years old, you should be seeking out someone like me—or starting on your own—to calculate the annual progress you need to make, and will make, toward achieving your goals.” 

Don’t base your planning on what you think you might inherit

Canada is in the midst of the so-called Great Wealth Transfer, with more than $1 trillion in assets shifting from boomers to their gen X and millennial heirs through the mid-2020s. But in Rosentreter’s experience, the topic of inheritances is usually shrouded in secrecy within families. “This is often a conversation that goes undiscussed until the parents die, and then the kids will find out, often for the first time, how much money their parents have,” he says. 

Broach the subject in a sensitive way, Rosentreter suggests, and if you have siblings, do it together: “You can say, ‘Hey, Mom and Dad, this may be a difficult conversation, but we’re all getting older. It would be helpful if we could learn a bit about what’s in your estate documents. What roles do we play? Have you had everything reviewed and summarized by lawyers and accountants? Where are the originals stored?’” Rosentreter says: “That’s a non-confrontational way to do it.”

Encourage your parents to seek out estate planning experts, but don’t base your own financial planning on “maybe” inheritances. Focus on what’s within your control. If your wealth level does change dramatically in the future, you can always enlist a financial advisor to revamp your plan when the time comes.

Wing Sze Tang is an award-winning journalist based in Toronto. She is the founder of Wayword Media Inc.

Read more from this issue of The Get:

1. MVP: ​​Heather Odendaal on WFH changes and the best career advice 
2. How do I rebuild my credit after a consumer proposal?
3. Is a budgeting template worth it?
4. True or False: All-inclusives are the cheapest way for Canadians to travel